INT. COURTROOM, WEMBLEY STADIUM -- NIGHT
Wembley Stadium. Home of The Football Association (FA),
English football's governing body.
Oak-paneled walls. Marble flooring and columns that stretch
from the floor to the twenty-foot-tall ceiling. Red and
royal blue curtains adorned with The Three Lions.
The gallery empty of any press or concerned onlookers. Two
sit at the deeply-stained oak table before a panel of three
judges.
At the table: LUIS SUÁREZ and KENNY DAGLISH.
Suárez: mid-20s, Uruguayan international and Liverpool
striker. Bit an opposing player while at Ajax, hand-balled
a would-be winning goal off the line against Ghana in the
2010 World Cup.
Daglish: 60, Liverpool's manager. A dynamite striker in his
playing days, was the most-capped of all players for
Scotland, a compassionate man.
The panel of judges: DAVID BERNSTEIN (FA Chairman), ALEX
HORNE (FA General Secretary) and SIR DAVID RICHARDS (FA Vice
Chairman). All are wearing judicial robes and white wigs.
HORNE
Just so we're clear, Mister
Suárez. You're forgoing any legal
representation?
Suárez gestures to Daglish to answer for him.
DAGLISH
That's right. I've been supporting
Luis this entire time, why should
now be any different?
Daglish nods at his troubled striker. The judges look at
each other-
BERNSTEIN
Right-o. Mister Suárez, you have
been proven guilty of racially
abusing Patrice Evra of Manchester
United ten times throughout a
recent match between your two
teams.
Daglish shifts his posture, smiling nervously.
SIR RICHARDS
As with all cases, the FA grants an
appeal process to the disciplined
player. Mister Suárez, you may
begin your appeal.
Suárez leans towards Daglish and whispers in his ear.
Daglish turns to him and nods.
DAGLISH
Esteemed leaders of the FA, my
striker wishes to know the
penalties which have been levied
against him.
BERNSTEIN
Well, the suspension is for-
DAGLISH
(holding up his hand)
Just a moment.
Suárez leans into Daglish's ear again.
DAGLISH
He would like the exact wording
from the FA's released statement
announcing the decision.
BERNSTEIN
Alright. This is the FA after all,
we have no objection to a prim and
proper request. Hand me that file
if you would, Sir Richards.
SIR RICHARDS
Certainly, Mister Bernstein.
Suárez's eyes widen, his body tensing. Daglish puts his
hand on the striker's shoulder-
DAGLISH
(to Suárez)
Relax. Deep breaths.
Sir Richards slides the file folder over to Bernstein, who
pulls out the FA statement on Suárez's punishment. He skims
through the document, finding the bullet point on the
penalties.
BERNSTEIN
There we are.
(reading from the document)
Mister Suárez shall be warned as to
his future conduct, be suspended
for eight matches covering all
first team competitive matches and
fined the sum of forty-thousand
pounds.
Suárez shoots to his feet-
SUÁREZ
Forty-thousand pounds? YOU
COVETOUS JEW!
Daglish winces. Bernstein pounds his gavel.
BERNSTEIN
Appeal denied.
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A courtroom, in Wembley, with judges in wigs. I thank Reddit for this.
ReplyDeletereally, all that build up for a covetous jew joke? ehh i'd rather watch south park.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous
ReplyDeleteWell let me tell you something my kraut-mic friend: you're certainly entitled to that opinion.
Thanks for reading.
ehh I liked it fine. no need to go making it offensive. simple worked best
ReplyDelete